Wear our experience?

If you’ve tuned into our latest webisode, you’ll hear our ladies talking about the treatments they had, how they felt before and during consultation, then after their respective procedures. Robina talks about being shy to disclose to her group of friends because of their pre-conceived notions about treatment. In the end, all were thrilled with the results, noting that it was the subtlety of their individual outcomes that were most pleasing. Friends and family noticed that they looked “fresh” and “great” without knowing that they had had anything done.

So, is it how we feel about ourselves or how others view us that guides our decisions? And, as more of the “post raising kids” demographic re-enters the workforce, our presence is changing the landscape. The question is: Do we proudly wear our years of experience or do we quietly blend in with our more youthful “peers”? How do you feel? How would you answer this question?

Finally, if you check out our new “In The Media” section, you’ll see that we have begun to be noticed by the media. A particularly interesting mention was in the Toronto Star’s “Adventures in Aging” column by writers Josey Vogels and Li Robbins. They have very strong opinions about marketers pushing anti-aging products onto what they refer to as “the silver bullets of marketing” or “primetime women” – 50+ women. Read their “Don’t you even try to define us” and tell us what your opinion is, we want to hear from you!

Karla chimes in

Hello and welcome to my first blog entry. If you’ll recall, I’m your new moderator, Karla. With me, you’re going to get a view from the other side of 50. I’m 51, single and have two boys, aged 19 and 9 – one off to university, one to grade 4 – and have just re-entered the full-time work force after many years of freelancing (you’ll hear more about that in my next blog entry). I look forward to presenting some ideas that hopefully many of you will relate to or at least have an opinion about.

We have an update from your fabulous former blog moderator Alison. She has just become the proud mother of baby #2, a beautiful 7lb 9oz boy. ‘Twas a bit of a rough go, but mom and baby are doing great, and mom will will take some well deserved r&r. And thank goodness for grandmothers – Alison’s mom. She has jumped into full time doula duty and will run the show for a bit until Alison’s back on her feet.

As a belligerent, rebellious teenager, I used to fight with my mother at every turn – about everything. Ever since my first child was born, we’ve become buddies. We’re still very different people, but we’ve come to appreciate each other in a way that can only happen when you share common experiences – such as having children. And although we’re twenty something years apart, we’ve got more in common than ever before. Since I don’t have the same urgent need to assert myself, I’m so much more open to what she has to say – which is often insightful. How about you? Do you feel closer or not to the elder females in your life? Do you have more or less in common with them now than when you were a teenager? Submit your responses here.

I’d like to thank you Alison, for your great perspective, and wish you great good luck with your new son.

A defining moment!

For those of you reading the blog, you may recall the first post where I referenced that I was about to have baby #2 - well the time is come for me to head out for my maternity leave and watch this amazing dialogue grow, from the sidelines.

Some lessons I have learned from watching the defineyourself.ca women go through the process:

1) If you don’t know – don’t be afraid to ask!

So many of the questions (and pre-conceived notions) I have had for years about cosmetic enhancements were clarified in five minutes after speaking with the women about their doctor consultations and what really happens, how long a procedure takes etc. While this certainly applies to this topic, it’s a good life reminder as well – ignorance may be bliss but it sure won’t get you anywhere interesting!

2) Our similarities far outweigh the differences

Maybe you’re embracing aging, maybe you are not, but almost every women we have spoken to or heard from (and granted, this is an aging dialogue we’re fostering) does think about it on a regular basis, especially when you hit that 35+ age group. How you decide to address it - if at all – is largely supported as a personal choice by women out there, which was a refreshing outcome for me to realize too. We women need to stick together, regardless of our lifestyles, life choices or life experiences.

3) Vanity is just a six letter word

Webster’s definition of vanity is: “excessive pride in one’s appearance or accomplishments; conceit” After watching these women bare all about aging, it’s obvious that vanity has nothing to do with their wanting to make a change in their appearance

If you’ve watched all the webisodes, I think what you’ll easily pick up from the defineyourself.ca women is that this journey/discovery/experiment has been about wanting to correct/enhance/refine/rejuvenate their appearance. Much of the stigma around cosmetic enhancements is that there seems to be a societal judgment around wanting to look the best you can be - I really hope what we have accomplished to date is to steer the dialogue about aging in a new direction. . . I know it’s had a positive impact on me

Have a great summer and thanks for continuing to be a part of the story!

Alison

And now I pass the torch to your fabulous new blog moderator Karla –

Thank you Alison for the introduction, your fabulous perspective, and great good luck with your new baby! With me, you’re going to get a view from the other side of 50. I’m 51, single and have two boys, aged 19 and 9 – one off to university, one to grade 4 –and have just re-entered the full-time work force after many years of freelancing. I look forward to presenting some ideas that hopefully many of you will relate to or at least have an opinion about. Talk to you soon. Karla

Robina reveals her experience

I knew that Robina’s interview was going to be very revealing. . . Like most women who have had even just a fleeting moment of consideration on having some “work done” on my face or body, I’ve wondered about what meeting a cosmetic physician is really like.

Robina revealed all and gave me (and you) an insider’s look into the doctor’s office.

What are your thoughts?

Lots of feedback this week, and I loved Heather’s comment responding to the topic about women feeling guilty about putting themselves first – you can read her full comment in the blog comments below, but here’s a snippet:

“Since I turned 40 in March I have been feeling really weird and I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong with me. I gave up my career 5 years ago to stay home with my 3 kids. I loved it, but I have come to realize over the last couple of months that I am ready to go back into the workforce. The weirdness I have been feeling is the guilt in wanting to do something for myself. I feel guilty that I want to go to work 9 to 5, when most people would make the comment “Oh, it must be fabulous to stay at home with your kids”. It has been fabulous, but after 5 years I am going to try and do something for myself for a change”

This notion of guilt resurfaced for me again as we launched the defineyourself.ca contest (have you signed up for it yet? Click here to take you to the sign up page) Those of us here at Swing were talking about what we would do if we entered a contest and won $250 cash, and my first instinct was to buy my daughter some new things, and my husband a new tennis racquet – didn’t even think about the new shoes I’ve been coveting and would kill for! I’m not saying I am a saint, but it just reinforced the comments we’ve been getting from so many of you that it is hard to train yourself to ever put yourself first!

The last two webisodes also discussed deliberations and procedures that some of the women were considering, and Darlene sent in a comment about having considered a tummy tuck (I don’t think the cute title truly represents the fact that a ‘tummy tuck’ is surgery! ) “I am 44, have two children and have been struggling with the idea of getting a tummy tuck. I have many fears about the process including recovery time and have been trying to weigh out whether wearing a two piece bathing suit in the summer is worth the potential agony. Is anyone else dealing with a similar dilemma? Am I the only one?”

As I’ve learned from the defineyourself ca women, the best advice is to make a consultation with a doctor – find out exactly what is involved and those fears will either be eliminated or exacerbated, and from there you can make a decision
Anyone been in Darlene’s shoes and had the same fears? What did you do about it? Let’s hear from you!