DefineYourself.ca awarded for innovative approach

We just arrived back from New York where we were honoured by the IABC with a Gold Quill award. I guess we are striking a chord with women, and marketers!

The IABC recently awarded the Define Yourself campaign with the Gold Quill award for Excellence in creating an electronic communications platform which effectively delivers a message and engages our community of boomer women.


We are thrilled that the IABC recognized our authentic approach in appealing to women around feelings and experiences, not sales.

Watch our thank you video.
Listen to our interview with Blog Talk Radio.

Can your looks prevent you from getting that promotion or close that deal?

Krizia from www.myBeautyMatch.com

It seems that when it comes to answering this question, women fall into two camps: 1) those who think that it’s all about what you have to bring (aka: your skills and your intelligence) and 2) those who think that their message can only go further if they present themselves in a certain way.

A lot of women still think that taking time for themselves to present themselves in the best light is vain.

Historically, vanity has never been a trait one aspires to. Who wants to be labeled as shallow, petty, weak, and self-centered? No one really wants to be perceived as being vain…at least no one wants to be vain and have others notice it.

But this begs the question: Are we not all a little vain? If we didn’t have the slightest penchant for vanity, we’d all throw our mirrors out the window because we’d have no use to admire ourselves in attempt to looking our best.

Truth be told, we do care about our appearances and we do care about how we are perceived by others. This resonates even louder as we age.

Now, I want to make sure that I’m clear here, I’m not talking about being or becoming a people-pleaser and I’m not saying that others should define who we are. Nah, what I’m saying is that the way we present ourselves has bearing on our own self-esteem but also on how others perceive us.

This is where the title of this post comes in. There are certain things that remain unsaid, but if you are in position that represents the company you work for or if you’re in a profession that requires you to negotiate, your appearance could help you make or break a deal.

Some of us are lucky enough to have a gene pool and/or a lifestyle that will take us well into our seventies with minimal medical interference. But for others, a little help from our cosmetic dermatologist or plastic surgeon might be required if we intend on looking a certain way as we age.

Today ageism is a bit more subtle. No one will tell you that you look tired all the time and that clients are not responding all that well to the image your project, instead, a younger colleague might start getting more clients or deals than you or perhaps you might not even be part of the list for that new coveted promotion.

I have an excellent example of a school teacher who had very strained relationships with her students (who feared her) and on parent nights, few parents really wanted to interact with her. This school teacher (who was in her mid 30s) had a strong frown muscle that made her look angry all the time. A friend of hers suggested Botox® and ever since, this school teacher’s relationships with her students, peers and parents of her students have changed radically.

Can the anti-aging industry become an industry of pure vanity that strives to attain an unreachable image of perfection and eternal youth? Is it possible to walk around with an exaggerated frozen expression because of too much Botox®? Can we go overboard with too many cosmetic procedures in too short of a time period? Yes, of course, and there are too many examples to remind of us of the flip side of the anti-aging industry.

The goal here is to find a middle ground — somewhere between obsessive pursuit of beauty myths and just not caring enough about one’s appearance. That’s where most of us would hope to be as we age…and it is not particularly a bad thing.

Let’s put it out there — vanity is not all that bad. After all, it’s an undisputable fact that we feel better when we look better. We might want to brush it off as being futile, but there seems to be something deeply ingrained — perhaps deeper than any social pattern – that makes us feel better about ourselves when we look our best.

Furthermore, we send some messages that are completely unrelated to beauty when we look our best. It tells others that we care about ourselves. It communicates a sense of respect for our health and well-being. It also demonstrates a level of respect for others that we take the time and effort necessary to look good prior to dealing with them. It shows the world that we take it, and ourselves, seriously.

© Copyright Beauty Match Network. All rights reserved.

Does ethnicity play a role in aging?

Krizia from www.myBeautyMatch.com

Project Runway Canada’s host, Iman, has been very vocal in her statement that: “black don’t crack”. If this is the first time you’ve heard of this saying it refers to the fact that many black women don’t show any signs of aging such as deep wrinkles and sagging skin simply because they are genetically blessed.

Well, study after study has proven that aging is 80-90 per cent related to lifestyle and not genes. On the subject of blacks never aging, I’ve seen my fair share of blacks who had deep wrinkles and sagging skin. If you smoke, drink heavily, worship the sun … you will age and it will show … regardless of your ethnic makeup.

That said, different ethnicities will show different signs of aging. Iman is not entirely wrong in her assessment. If you are black and if you take care of your skin, exercise, eat well, stay away from fast foods, don’t smoke, don’t drink heavily and if you don’t partake in recreational drugs, you should be able to hit your 70s and still fool people around you in thinking that you are 20 years younger.

Black beauties (as I like to call them) are born with an integrated anti-aging and protective photo-protective shield called melanin.

Melanin (the substance that gives skin its colour), plays a huge part in how different ethnicities show the signs of aging. Lighter and fairer complexions are very much susceptible to aging faster because harmful UV rays from the sun can penetrate their skin more easily and deeply. As a result, their skin loses moisture more quickly, and collagen breaks down more rapidly than in a thicker, darker skin.

Just in case you were wondering, melanin is found at the bottom of the epidermis. It acts as barrier against the rays that damage the dermis, acting as a built-in sun filter and considerably slowing down the signs of aging.

That said, although darker-skin beauties might not have to worry as much about photo-aging, they still have concerns about skin cancer, as melanin does NOT protect the skin against skin cancer.

© Copyright Beauty Match Network. All rights reserved.

Everybody's line is different

I started thinking about my views on ‘getting a little cosmetic help’ one night seven years ago when the ladies from my mom’s group went out for dinner. Over wine someone posed the roundtable question—where do you guys stand on cosmetic enhancement? Would you ever have any work done?

Well I had to give this some serious thought before I answered. Because, while my default answer may have immediately been ‘no’, I have already made cosmetic enhancement, maintenance or ‘normalizing’ choices. I was born with a birthmark on my face and have had a series of laser treatments to reduce the birthmark over the last fifteen years. And, I wear makeup to cover the birthmark every day and have since I was thirteen years old. Why? Because it allows me to operate more effectively and comfortably in the world that we live in.

So, in essence I have been pursuing cosmetic help for some time and am truly grateful that I have the option to do so. So, when I went back to contemplating where I stood on the issue I realized that I was very much pro-choice and pro-options and while my pursuit of treatment may today be focused on normalizing rather than enhancing, I can’t say that down the road I won’t pursue other things.

More importantly, I feel really strongly that women should not judge other women who make cosmetic choices. Because, it is a very personal choice and we don’t always know what drives people to do things or what each person’s individual story is. Everyone’s line is different.