Everything you always wanted to know - but were afraid to ask

Ok, so you’ve reached a certain age - 35,40,41,46 (as I’ve learned from your responses, it’s definitely different for every women…) and it’s inevitable that at some point you start paying more attention to ads that talk about “anti-wrinkle” or “covering your grey” or “improving your skin elasticity”.

I’d love to know what the silent agreement among advertisers is – at what age of the female demographic do they suddenly flick the switch from appealing to our youthful vanity to promoting aging “gracefully” or “hiding the signs of aging”? But it’s true, suddenly the “maybe I’m born with it or maybe I’m not” ads have less resonance, and the “noticeably reduces wrinkle” ads capture my attention (albeit briefly. . .)

So, I unabashedly admit I was really looking forward to seeing what happened in the newest defineyourself.ca webisode, because while I have yet to make up my own mind about whether or not I’d have “something done” I am definitely paying more attention these days to television & print ads that talk about the “benefits” of cosmetic enhancements – and it made me realize I don’t even know where I’d begin if I had made the decision

Part of the experience for the defineyourself.ca women was to meet with a highly qualified doctor to find out what happens in a consultation and discuss their options, which you’ll see in this weeks webisode.

If you’ve never considered any of the options out there, it can be overwhelming and intimidating - so a consultation with a reputable doctor is a must…and doing some research in advance is also an absolute must. One of the best sites I’ve come across (it’s a US site) is: www.newbeauty.com an online version of New Beauty Magazine that focuses on cosmetic enhancements – and answers all the questions you probably have been asking yourself - if you’ve considered having any procedure done, and gives you detailed information on products and the actual procedures and the differences and benefits of each.

A good Canadian site is www.restylane.ca, created by our sponsor Medicis. Besides in-depth information on their Restylane product, the Restylane.ca website also has a search tool for Canadian cosmetic physicians across the country.

A little knowledge goes a long way - and just like you research a vacation, or anything else important in your life, if you’re going to take the next step and address the aging you are seeing, you need to have all the tools in hand; research, a good doctor, and the knowledge that they are using the best products on the market.

We’ll meet Robina soon and hear more about her experience and what she decided after her consultation, stay tuned this week!

Seeing both sides

I was really looking forward to talking with Maureen this week - she shared some insights into what has had an impact on her attitudes towards cosmetic procedures, what it was like to come together and meet the other defineyourself.ca women at the “Roundtable”, and what has surprised her the most about going through this process.

Read my interview with her, here.

Do You (Ever?) Put Yourself First?

As women, I think we are often discouraged (silently or outwardly) from putting ourselves first - whether it’s a mentality we’ve gleaned from our own mothers, or from the messages in the media out there (how many cough and cold commercials for infants and babies show the father being the one to administer the medication at night while the mother slumbers away peacefully !?!).

I know it’s a fact that many of us often put our needs, wants desires and goals last - behind family, friends, careers - even our houses… I talked about all this, this week, with Genevieve, one of our fabulous defineyourself.ca women.

Ask yourself this question: how often do you effortlessly - and without guilt - put yourself first?

Click here to read my full interview.

It’s always nice to have options…

It’s been fascinating to read all the comments to the blog and see the response to the current poll regarding your attitudes towards aging:

Over 718 of you replied to the poll (to date) - and here’s how it broke out:

26% of you said you wear your wrinkles well
23% said “we maintain our cars don’t we
42% said you were glad you were glad to have options
7% said it’s personal

To be honest, in past conversations with other women it often seems taboo to admit you may want to get something done (fillers, surgery) to slow the aging process and/or make yourself look and feel better along the way.

Whether you privately feel you might want to address aging by undergoing some sort of procedure, most women are reluctant to share this - even with their closest friends. I’ve been really curious as to where that stigma comes from. Is it because women are inherently competitive with one another and we don’t want to see someone look better than we do at the same age? Your poll responses have made me realize that times they are a changin’ (to steal from Bob Dylan ;), and I, for one, am glad for it!

A majority of you are indicating that - whether or not you choose to use them - you are really glad there are options out there.

That’s not to say there is not a clear voice from those of you who feel strongly that aging naturally is what is best for you. Many of the comments we received are from this group; you’ve reached a certain age and are proud of the way you look, dammit!

Wherever you fall on the spectrum, from ‘wearing your wrinkles well’ to being happy to have a choice, what Terri Lessard-Seguin said in her comment is what we should all aim for, no matter our age or how we feel about it: “I embrace the years to come, blessed with health, family, and lots of adventure I have yet to discover!”

Next week you’ll meet another of the defineyourself.ca women, if you have not already done so, be sure to check out the latest webisode!

Robin shares her thoughts

We hope you’ve had a chance to meet all the women individually and watch the first webisode in our series following Carol, Maureen, Genevieve, Margaret, Robin and Robina as they shared their motivations around what prompted them to be a part of defineyourself.ca.

From the many comments I’ve received it seems a large number of you out there relate to the thoughts expressed by the women in Webisode 1 and you are intrigued to see what choices each of the women make as they explore the options out there. Some of you feel strongly that aging is nothing to be phased by, Nancy A. comments: “I’m 50 and I look and feel great. Please don’t try to talk us all in to doubting that 50-year-olds can look great with wrinkles, white hair, and skin that is no longer as firm as it was 30 years ago.” We’re thrilled to be receiving all of your thoughts and reactions, our sole purpose is to create an opportunity for dialogue, no matter where you stand on aging well, aging naturally or aging with “a little” (or a lot!) of help.

Our second webisode, launched today, covers personal attitudes towards aging and the inner conflicts that many women have when it comes to addressing the fact that they are aging. I spoke with Robin to learn more and hear how her relationship with her mother impacted her reaction to turning 40.