Aging

This year I have turned 50. Yes, the BIG five oh. Everyone seems to have a comment. “You don’t look fifty!” “People over fifty shouldn’t wear a two piece.” Most often though, the question “what is it like to be…fifty?” “Do you feel older?”

Well, it’s not much different then being 49 years and 14 months really, it’s only a number. I feel much the same as I did at 45 and even at 40. Sure I have a few more aches and pains on rainy days. I feel a little stiff when I wake in the morning, but nothing a good healthy stretch doesn’t dissipate. I linger a little longer in a hot bath, just because. Additionally, I have learned to appreciate my body, to listen to it, to care for it and to relax within it. I am getting older yes, but how am I aging, that should be the question. I think they are two separate states of being.

Webster’s dictionary gives older and aging very similar definitions (OLDER: is having lived or existed for a comparatively long time, far advanced in years or life, AGING is the length of time during which a being or thing has existed).

I define them differently. OLDER is a term of measurement of our years (out of our control), AGING is how we carry our years (totally within our control).

By my definition, though I am “older”, I am “aging” well. I am physically active, running or working out on a regular basis. I look at the world with fresh eyes everyday. I laugh a lot and cry a little. I keep busy and try to stay healthy, taking care of my body inside (diet) and out (skin care, etc.).

As I have gotten older, I have learned that doing things for yourself does not mean you are selfish or self centered. It means that you understand the importance of ensuring you are healthy and happy in order to be able to be the best you can be to those, and for those, around you, including yourself. This has been a very long and hard lesson for me to learn (and I think it is so for many women) but it sure helps when making decisions on how we will care for ourselves and how we will manage the aging process. When it comes to taking care of your skin or deciding it is time to “do something,” it is necessary to have the confidence in your ability to make a good decision. It is important to feel in control of your body and of your choices, and to be able to exercise that control.

When I was recently at Dr. Solish’s office to have a consultation, I experienced an amazing sense of control of my own aging process when I agreed to have a procedure completed without consultation with anyone in my family. Even though my children had requested that I not do “anything”, I really felt I wanted to try. I wanted to see the change, to experience the effect and I wanted to do it FOR MYSELF. I wasn’t being self centered, I wasn’t being selfish, I was making a conscious choice that I wanted to represent myself and consciously participate in the aging process. The decision to go forward with the procedure was indeed very spontaneous. It was also very empowering. I laughed when I made it and I smile now when I think of it. I have always wanted to age gracefully, my decision that day, helped me to soften the graceful aging of my body.
Being fifty is just a number. Though through the dictionary definition I may be OLD, the decision to take control of my aging process is what has set this time in my life apart from the rest. It is a time of growth and confidence and delightful change. Going forward I will consciously work to slowly grow old with grace.